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November 13, 2009

The saying goes that if you meet your idol, you’ll always end up disappointed. I’ve never met Joe Cahn, but I’d bet some poor farming family’s only cow that I would not leave the presence of this man feeling anything less than blessed and enlightened. First of all, the man comes prepared. Yours Truly brings a jacketto a tailgate. Joe Cahn brings a hot tub for four. Oh, is the porto out of TP? Here’s a $100 bill. Buy yourself something nice, or wipe your ass…I dont give a damn because I’m Joe Cahn. Second of all, Joe doesn’t bring his wife. He doesn’t bring his sister’s best friend or some woman he met while speed-dating. No, he fills that hot tub with women half his age. How? He’s Joe Cahn. He lives vicariously through himself.

“Self-dubbed commissioner of tailgating.” That’s unbelievable at first glance. Thousands of men host tailgates all over the country and it takes brass balls to claim commissioner status over all these weekend (or Thursday) warriors. After seeing that picture though, I can’t help but bow my head. Much like a wild dog who challenges the alpha male’s authority and gets dominated, I roll over in a calm-submissive state to you, Joe Cahn. Like Luke Wilson in Old School, you are the Godfather. I am your liege, sire.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Kevin permalink
    November 13, 2009 2:44 pm

    I want a hottub

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